The Road To Recovery Is Filled With Weeds

Aarushi

The doe relived that day every night in her dreams, the noise, the crunch of bone, her daughter’s broken body. Everything after that was a blur. Aedan and Lunemyr had pulled her away from the cremello fawn while she struggled against them, before a numbness had claimed her. Tears had rolled and she had blindly followed Aedan back to one of her many glades. Or maybe it was his home. The healer didn’t know. She didn’t care. Her baby was gone. Kerras had killed her. It had been a little while since the incident. But.. it still hurt so bad. It ached in her heart at the sight of a flower, at the sound of a brook, at the smell of the rain. Everything that had once brought her daughter joy killed her inside. Aarushi didn’t care where she was- she assumed it was one of the stag’s homes that she had taken over. It didn’t smell like her daughter. Thankfully. Both of them had checked on her, but both had few words to heal her heart. Maybe Melark knew, maybe not. He wouldn’t understand either way.

Curled up in the den that now smelled only of her, her mane tangled and wild beneath her, blue eyes rimmed with smears of sleeplessness beneath them, her muscular body seemed smaller as it took so much effort for her to even eat. At night, if there was someone near her- the silver cream either lashed out or curled close. There wasn’t a medium. Company wasn’t something that fixed her. She either curled close and pretended it had all been a nightmare, or fought like they had brought her daughter’s death. Quietly resting, her tail curled around her body, anger and hurt and misery rolled off the doe. Aillia would have been ashamed of her mother, and that made it that much harder for the female who lived in grief.. But that knowledge pushed the silver cream to her hooves, while she quietly left the den’s entrance to force herself to graze, focusing on the most nutritious plants. Her body betrayed her- it carried ever scent of a doe receptive to advances. If any stag was dumb enough to come near her, the doe probably would have kicked his balls into his throat. Ears flattened against her neck, Aarushi’s normally smudged coat had become dull and dirty even for her. But eating was a step, taking steps outside without being encouraged was another.

The healer wasn’t built to break. She wouldn’t let herself. Plenty of things thrived without the sun. Eventually.. she would to. Tired of thriving in the misery, the doe forced herself to move as she chewed, her jaw felt like stone, and the mush in her mouth felt like it was clawing along her throat with each time she swallowed. But it was nourishment. Lifting her head, blue eyes scanned the world around her, trying to gather something about her environment and where she was, her ears perked at the noise of someone approaching. Of more than one, but 2 approaching.

Aedan

Aedan hated to see Sunny this way. It was only to be expected; he couldn’t imagine what losing his firstborn would have done to him, and he hadn’t spent every day of his life with the fawn since birth. She’d run hot and cold by turns, clutching at any comfort she could find and turning him away in the next moment. The silvery doe had lost weight, but more than that had lost the sparkle in her eye. The same blue eyes that her daughter had, Aedan’s little blue flaxflower. It was all too much.

The next time he scraped together to courage to visit his friend, he brought reinforcements. Lune, too, had been checking in on the doe, also concerned for her. Perhaps it made him a coward, but Aedan didn’t want to go in there alone.

They approached the den quietly, Aedan craning his neck to see if she was awake. Some does reacted that way to the loss of a fawn; they simply retreated into themselves and into sleep until one day they didn’t wake up. Aedan didn’t think Sunny would slip that far- she was always so full of life, far too stubborn to give in to anything. Not even this.

True to form she was awake when they arrived, though she didn’t look happy. She didn’t look sad either; mostly she just looked resolute. Though resolved to what he couldn’t guess.

“Sunny,” Aedan greeted softly in his most delicate voice as they approached. “How are you?”

Lune

It hadn’t been long since the incident… The pale Lieutenant honestly still couldn’t believe that it had happened.. He couldn’t believe that Aillia was really gone. But, she was. The creamy little filly that he and so many others had grown to love was gone, her precious life snatched away by the Blackwood fiend. Lunemyr was completely aware that Kerras had not intended to murder the child… He’d seen the look of horror and pain on the dark devil’s face. But, it didn’t excuse it. He shouldn’t have been in Glenmorian land in the first place. Had he stayed in his own dark lands Aillia wouldn’t be dead. It was still his fault the little filly had died. He was still a murderer, through and through.

Lune and Aedan had decided to drop a visit in on the filly’s mother, Sunny, today after their patrol together. He had come to check in on the silver doe frequently, to make sure that she was still there… that she hadn’t done something stupid. Each time he got the same response… She hadn’t really moved. Today he was with Aedan and that would make things a little bit easier.. He didn’t plan to stay for too long, but just to see that the doe was alright.. Not that she would be. No parent, a mother especially, could be alright after something this horrible.

Lune and Aedan walked in silence for their whole patrol and for the walk over to Sunny’s den. Neither spoke. They had nothing to say, both just lost in their thoughts and reliving what had happened just a couple days before.. Lune was still sore and stiff from the battering he’d taken when he intervened between Sunny and the stag who had murdered her precious daughter.

Aedan led the way in and Lune followed him. He winced slightly at Aedan’s choice of words.. He knew the other stag didn’t mean it, but… How did he expect her to be doing. “Hello, Sunny.” he said softly. “I brought you some spearmint.” he dropped the mint down in front of the doe now.

Aarushi

The doe stared at the pair of pale stags for a long, hard moment. Lune dropped spearmint. Aedan asked how she was. How the hell did he think she was? Ears pinned dangerously against her neck as the doe glowered at the pair, not bothering to answer the pale stag’s question, before grumbling, “What do you two want?” Her voice was coarse and strained and even though it was certainly not her den and space- the way the healer spoke it may as well have been. Lifting her head indignantly, blue eyes shooting daggers, before softening as the doe ambled a few steps towards the pair, and then snagged the spearmint before tucking it away into the den. Sharp blue eyes didn’t miss the way Lune’s stride hitched. He was probably sore or stiff. As the silver cream filled the entrance to the den, lingering a moment. Aedan couldn’t meet her eyes. Maybe he remembered their trip to the lake..

Looking away sharply and realizing why he couldn’t meet her gaze. It might not have been the same reason she couldn’t meet his- but.. the way Aillia had smiled when he called her his little flaxflower sent another pang in her chest. Taking a deep breath, the doe squared her shoulders stubbornly. “I-uh.. Thank you.” she muttered, before continuing doggedly “For y’know.. everything. However.. if you guys keep walking on glass around me.. I won’t.. I can’t heal like that.” The sorrow in her voice hung heavy, reminding her of what she wanted to move on from. “it hurts. But..” Closing those sharp blue eyes, the heavyset healer sighed. “It will take time.” Looking away, fighting the tears that stung at her eyes, before giving them both a sharp look, almost a normal one, despite her smaller demeanor. “You both aren’t missing patrol for me are you?” A demanding fierceness, a familiar one had crept into her tone, though her body’s mass was smaller, Aarushi’s stubbornness, refusing to give into the weight of devastation clung heavy. Even if she was a mess and a half, these idiots were trying to take care of her- that was her job to do to them, gods be damned.

Aedan

Aedan tensed as Sunny glared at his greeting. Of course she wasn’t alright. It had seemed a harmless pleasantry but perhaps he should be taking more care with his words.

As she continued talking her voice was rough, as were her words, but that was okay. She was upright and talking. After the last few days, he’d feared that might not be the case.

He shook his head sadly. “We finished our patrol. Not a soul in sight.” There was a hitch in his voice as he said it; he was half-hoping they might stumble across the trail of the brute Lune had called Kerras despite his utter failure at tracking the stag down at the time. Aedan was still cursing himself for that; for letting the anger overtake him and preventing him from doing his job at the most critical moment.

He finally steeled himself to meet her eye, and despite the pain it caused him to see that vibrant blue he held her gaze. He couldn’t put it all into words but he wanted his friend to know he was mourning alongside her, that he would to anything to help her but he simply didn’t know how. Lune at least had the presence of mind to bring a gift, to not blunder forward with his hoof in his mouth. Perhaps he should have let his more level-headed partner do the talking.

Suddenly he snorted, forcing his way out of self-pity towards something more useful. “You’re right. Treating you like a delicate baby bird is hardly the natural order of things, and so is having you walled up in here. Fresh air and a chance to stretch your legs would do you some good, wouldn’t you say Madam Healer?”

Lune

Lune glanced over at the other stag,noticing his tension. He glanced back at Sunny now. It was Aedan's idea to bring the spearmint." He lied through his teeth. Fortunately, he wasn't a bad liar. "He remembered how much you like it, so we stopped and picked some on the way here." He glanced back at Aedan briefly. Maybe that would help with the tension between his pale comrade and the healer doe.. Sometimes Lune felt as if he sensed a spark between the two....other times not so much.

The stag's tufted ears pitched forwards with a bit of surprise as Sunny thanked them.. She usually wasn't the type to express such words.. It caught him a bit off guard, but he recovered quickly. "Of course." He stated softly, kindly.

Anger flashed through the stag at his comrade's words. They had been unable to find Kerras... Nobody knew where he'd gone. Lune vowed that next time he met the dark stag...he would be merciless. Kerras would fall at his hooves. He would see to it.

Maybe they should give her space... He was ready to turn and leave when Aedan mentioned a stroll. Well, perhaps that could help too.. Sunny hadn't left her den much at all lately... Some clear, fresh air would likely do her some good.

Sunny

Aedan had brought her the herbs? A twinge in the back of her neck said something was amiss here. Looking from one stag, to the other, the sharp blue eyes focused on Aedan's for a long moment. "Is that so? And where did Aedan find these herbs?" Asked the doe softly, glancing fondly at where she had stashed them away with care. The heavy cream healer gave a slow nod, beginning to amble slowly after them. A certain ache had settled into her joints from not moving much for a few days, and stiffness made her wish she could just go down every herb possible. Yet even the grieving mother knew it wouldn't fix what really ailed her. Walking at a rather uneven gait as her legs stretched and warmed up out of the stiffness, Sunny found herself walking between the two stags.

Aedan had seemed more than happy to lead her on a walk, but the look they shared had been so helpless. Guilt lived in those bright eyes. Both of them suffered from the same ailment in a way but different reasons the doe guessed. The pale stag hadn't known what to do with her moods and anger and sorrow, and the chance to get her moving and away from that self despair and misery didn't seem to come fast enough. Lunemyr on the other hand seemed to think that they ought to go slower though he didn't say anything. Guardsmen often became like brothers- but she hadn't expected the pair's closeness to reflect so. Ears flicking back in embarrassment, head lowered, she grumbled a thank you to Aedan, despite the uncertainty of who had actually done what. As the trio walked through the forest, Sunny found herself spotting all the little things that being a mother had made so much more important. Her daughter had loved the little things and in a way it had taught her to as well. Little red speckled caps dotted the soft mosses and linchens  that dotted the trail they walked. Providing a soft cushion beneath each step, the doe was ever grateful. Though the soreness was easing more as she moved, everything was well.. Still alive.

It had felt like everything had died when the cremello filly had. The plants were still alive. Energy still thrummed in the air. Stags still fought for does. It was still rut, the noise echoed across the forest. Taking a deep breath and sighing softly to herself, Aarushi glanced between the stags, for her silence was comfortable, but neither of these stags were often quiet for long. In a way it was what her ears longed for- idle chatter, something to distract her. Hating how weak her body already had grown, she knew this walk wouldn't be as long as she might like. Though perhaps one of the stags could keep her company- or at least escort her home, to her father. Gods the thought of going home was a tough one, the scent would linger. There would be silence where there was once laughter.. It wouldn't be what her life was before, but that was part of changing she supposed.

Aedan

Aedan snorted as Lune tried to give him credit for the herbs. “I only wish I had thought to bring you something,” he admitted. “And of course Lune is gallant enough to not only bring you a gift but to try to give away the credit for it.” He winked softly back at Lune as if to say ‘thanks for trying’.

The golden stag did breathe a sigh of relief as she decided to join them for a quiet stroll. Her muscles seemed tense and stiff and he hoped the movement would do her some good. When his aunt Excalibur had suffered a stillbirth, getting up and moving was the only thing that was able to take her mind off things and return her life to relative normalcy. Thank goodness Sunny was a commoner and had the freedom to do such things without being under the watchful eye of some unsympathetic Lord more concerned with appearances than healing her emotional scars. That was just one more reason he was glad he’d escaped his life in the Royal Glade and gained one with real purpose.

They talked about nothing as they meandered, sticking to safe topics. It was trickier than it seemed; Aedan forced himself to walk by a blue flax flower without remarking on it or allowing the welling tears to spill or choke his voice. How could he expect Sunny to deal with what had happened when he couldn’t do it himself?

He commented on herbs as they passed, and the state of the weather, and how all the oldest members of the herd insisted they were in for a wet winter. To the best of his very limited ability (and probably much to Sunny’s annoyance) he began to run through what herbs might increase their yield or fail to produce given an uncharacteristically rainy end-of-year. The willowreed would do well, but the elderberry might lose it’s potency as an immune aid while the meadowoak might be swamped out entirely…

Finally he lapsed into silence, realizing he had nothing meaningful to say.

Lune

"Errr... Well..." He began, but Aedan intervened and fessed up that he hadn't been the one to bring the herbs after all. The pale stag's ears drooped slightly and he gave Aedan a small smile of apology. Well at least he had tried... Should've known that Sunny wouldn't be so easy to fool. She was a witty doe with great instincts, she would know something was up.

The pale stag dropped back a little bit, falling in behind Aedan and Sunny. They walked on, chattering about herbs and things that scurried across their paths. Lune remained silent, not joining the conversation. He knew he was the 'third wheel' here, but he really didn't mind. He just enjoyed the walk and listened to the two ahead of him chatter about the small things in life... Everybody was just trying to get a certain pale filly off their minds.

By Oganach, he was so sore... Sunny had beaten the crap out of her when he had restrained her. His strides were awkward and hitched. He could go see a princess over it, but he didn't find it necessary... He'd failed in helping Aillia, he deserved to be sore.

Sunny

The doe’s head bobbed a bit as she listened to the steady hum of Aedan’s babble. At least he acknowledged he didn’t find them for her. She knew all of the things he spoke of, but the healer listened patiently. It gave her things to think about. Things to plan for. Nodding vaguely as he spoke, her joints beginning to loosen up as they walked alongside one another, Lune falling behind her. He looked sore and in pain. Aarushi wouldn’t bring it up. All of them were hurting.

Glancing sideways at the pale guard at her side, she thought she caught the glimmer of pain in his eyes before he pushed it aside. At least things were beautiful.. There would be plenty to do this year- to take the pain away. Closing her eyes, before humoring Aedan and adding, “There will be plenty of the fungi that help with new mothers this year.” It was a small jibe at his romeo ways, but it was a well intended one.

Glancing to Lune, frowning. “Speaking of willowreed, you need it.” Grumbling as they moved on, before Aarushi took a deep breath, pausing in the middle of the trail. “Aedan, drop off the spearmint leaves at one of my glades please. I need to go home and rebuild my dens, tend my glades.. “ Looking away, the silver cream began to limp in the direction of her nearest clearing, not bothering to follow the trail. “Come or don't.” The doe muttered suddenly.

Aedan

Aedan blinked at Sunny’s abrupt change of tone, and halted in his steps. The change from hopeless to bossy was a welcome one.

He smiled weakly and offered her a sporting, “At once, madam.” Without a second thought he delicately took the spearmint and followed along.

It was like the sun had come out from behind a cloud. It wasn’t that the pain was gone- it wasn’t- but it was no longer all there was. Seeing Sunny’s old self peek through was like a hint of a rainbow after a thunderstorm. The destruction from the storm was neither gone nor forgotten, but there was a hint of something better on the horizon.

He glanced back at Lune to see whether the other stag was coming along.

Lune

The pale stag's mind wandered aimlessly. He was so bored. He was a little left out here. He didn't mind and it of course didn't bother him- not much bothered the slender stag- but he was trying to come up with some way to excuse himself....to leave the two alone. To find something to entertain himself with now that he was off duty.

When Sunny mentioned going along to her Glades that gave him the perfect opportunity. "Nah, I think I'm going to head home. I will catch some willow reed on the way home, i believe I recall what it looks like." The pale stag turned away, beginning to stiffly walk off. "I'll see you guys later." He shot a sly wink Aedan's way once Sunny's back was turned and ,with that, made his leave.

Sunny

Moving stiffly, the creamy female wandered towards her nearest glade, nodding once in farewell to Lune, before trudging through the brambles boldly. Ignoring the bite of thorns and nettles, tail swishing as she glanced over her shoulder, hearing and watching as the pale guard followed in her wake, spearmint held carefully. The healer had taught him well- the stag didn’t crush the leaves of the delicate plant, though she would have to have a word with Lune about his collecting methods.. the edges showed he had not been very gently when removing them from the plant. Perhaps it was inexperience- but Aarushi expected the best of her companions.

Her movements were not the most graceful, but the silver cream did her best to move along towards the glade. Certain that the imposing doom that was weeds, overgrowth and squirrels had befallen her poor little glades. So focused on the idea of recultivating and planning, tearing apart the old dens to reconstruct new ones to suit her needs, that it pushed her sorrows and losses away for a brief moment. “I hope you’re up to pulling weeds.. We have much work to be done- if you’re up to it?” Shooting a hopeful glance in the stag’s direction, listless blue eyes regaining some of their light with every passing day.

Aedan

The stag’s eyes nearly twinkled as Sunny asked him if he was up to a bit of weeding. She was up now, on her feet and thinking of the future. Nothing would make him happier than helping to keep her that way.

“At your service, my lady,” he said with his most elaborate and gaudiest bow before joining her at the task. He would have welcomed Lune’s help but he doubted the pale stag was much if a gardner; Sunny had put a fair amount of work into building Aedan’s skill at that task.